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02 June 2009 @ 03:30 am
Title: My Heart Draws A Dream!
Author: earnestinberlin
Theme: 24. Hate
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: MiyavixBou (main)
Band[s]: Solo Miyavi, Antic Cafe
Disclaimer: My ownership extends this far. I can’t doooo eeet! D:
Comments: I know I know, I left this fanfic for dead again! I am totally sorry guys, I will update faster this time don’t you worry you’re little butts! XD
Summary: Bou is your not so average cross dressing student who has been going to Holy Garden University for the last two (and a half!) years. All he wants (and needs) is a quiet life and to finally graduate from the horrid school he’s been forced to attend.

Not going to happen to this cross dresser.

Chapitre Un
Chapitre Deux
Chapitre Trois
Chapitre Quatre
Chapitre Cinq
Chapitre Six
Chapitre Sept (Bonus Chapter)
Chapitre Huit
Chapitre Neuf
Chapitre Dix
Chapitre Onze
Chapitre Douze
Chapitre Treize
Chapitre Quatorze
Chapitre Quinze
Chapitre Seize
Chapitre Dix-sept
Chapitre Dix-Huit
Chapitre Vingt
Chapitre Vingt-et-un
Chapitre Vingt-deux
Chapitre Vingt-Trois (Bonus Chapter Again!)

Take a deep breath, don’t panic. He just asked for your name. You’re in a safe and guarded environment. If he does something to you, there will be people-

Tetsu looked at the person staring at his face in the mirror and he looked back at him with as much understanding. He knows that face anywhere, he didn’t have to think twice of the name. Even though this was the first time they met personally, he didn’t have to ask much and he didn’t have to really do anything with him. With the power his family have, the connection that comes along with the money, he knows all about the other man with just the aid of a few hundred thousand yen.

It really is him.

He managed not to get the first hard thing his hand could reach and ram it against the other person’s face. Through the years that he’s found out about this person, he’s developed quite the hatred for him. It was a personal choice, the way it was a personal choice of his to break up with Hyde.

That bastard.

The brunette closed his eyes for a moment, wore the facade that would get him through this situation. He should be warm, welcoming and kind; that is how the other suspects him to be and that is the role he should play. When he lifted his lids, so lifted the side of his lips; he gave him a small smile and looked the new comer who address him.

“And you might be?”

“Camui Gackt”

Blond hair and blue eyes; that ethereal glow to him that made him near inhuman paired with his piercing glaze. Tetsu knows all about Gackt, after all, he and Hyde are rather close acquaintances. He didn’t even have to wonder too long and hard about the true nature of their relationship. Especially with that suspicious trip Hyde took to Taiwan, which had the blond haired man following him.

Gackt watched Tetsu carefully, wondering what could be going through his mind. If there was one thing Gackt does best, and it would be putting up fronts and masks. And without having to decipher really hard, he knows that Tetsu isn’t exactly as nice as that face would to show him.

The brunette knows who he is after all. Gackt understands.

He could tell from the way that smile of his, the mirthful quality that most smiles should have did not show itself in his. He knows that bit too well; and so with out to battle he went, taking a few steps forward so he can talk to Tetsuya Ogawa.

Tetsu watched his movements through the mirror, silently looking at blonde’s mirror image walk to his own before he stopped right beside him. Instead of turning his head to look at Gackt, at the man that was standing right beside him, he contented himself with the person on the mirror instead.

“You know who I am” the blonde said, staring at Tetsu’s face in the mirror too. The both refused the actual form standing just right beside them, using the mirror as their only way of eye contact. Somehow finding it easier than the real thing, “And... I know who you are”

“If you know who I am as much as I know you” Tetsu’s plastic smile taking a small sinister hint, it almost looked disgusting. His supposedly sweet voice dripping with enough acid to kill a person, “Then you would understand that I hate you, right?”

“Nothing happened between us”

“I would like to believe that, Camui-san” Tetsu looked at Gackt’s eyes, but only the ones found in the mirror, “But I don’t think I’m as gullible enough as to be taken by a pair of ice cold eyes”

The end of his lips still up, still wearing that fake happy face; it was so well practiced, Gackt would’ve marvelled at Tetsu’s persistence. Tetsu waited for Gackt’s reply to his statement, all the other man could give him was silence. He shifted his eyes and let out a small sigh.

“Camui-san, no matter how adult you would like to act” Tetsu returned his gaze on the mirror in front of him, all calm and cool with his little beam plastered from ear to ear “You’re still a child. What you did with Hyde made it a bit harder for me to breath, and I was already having trouble with him. You made it worst”

“You don’t understand” Gackt looked up, trying his best. He didn’t expect Tetsu to be like this, of course he knows the other was going to be cold to him, but he didn’t know he could play that well.

“What should I understand then?” a slight raise of volume of the voice, almost as if he was really mad. Anyone who was there could tell that Tetsu was less than kind, “I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand anything”

One more time, Gackt thought of what he wanted to say. His purpose was not to make Tetsu his enemy even though that’s what Tetsu sees him. In the first place, he knows very well why Tetsu would hate him. And truth be told, if the tall man hurts him in any way during the conversation, then Gackt would never stop him.

“To be honest, I would gladly agree with you. I don’t understand and I think I never will” Gackt said, “But what I do understand is, we have one thing in common”

“What is it?”

“We like to run away”



Now, what I know is that you have a very, very horrible temper and if you don’t follow what I say down to the last letter, then I guess...

After he left the airport, his cell phone rang one more time and he had to endure the laughing tone on the other end. In front of Sugizo and Yoshiki, he tried his best to keep his cool even though he was starting to lose what makes up his sanity. He didn’t know who was on the other line and he didn’t know how they got hold of his boyfriend. Truth be told, he was near shivering, his fingers trembling and he didn’t know what to do. All he did was follow the voice that was leading him on, it was hilariously stupid and even he couldn’t understand what he was thinking. He should’ve told Yoshiki, Sugizo, or whoever who can help him fix the problem within the snap of his fingers.

There’s a reason why he’s called ore-sama.

But now, he was driving at a hundred miles per minute, thinking irrationally- Well that is not to say he doesn’t think irrationally on a daily basis, but today was hitting way off the marker and he was just working on pure gut feeling and he was near scared. When he heard the mention of Bou’s name on the other end, he fucking panicked.

... You should say goodbye to, Bomb shell, huh?

It took Miyavi all the self control he had to not scream at the person on the other end and just throw his cell phone away. That mocking voice on the other end that won’t stop mocking him while he tried to lead him to where Bou was, “What did you to Bou?!”

Aaw, now come on, you don’t want to ruin the surprise-

“What the fuck-” Miyavi emphasized the word on the phone as he made a sharp turn to the left, almost hitting a pedestrian on his way, “-do you want from me? Why did you have to drag Bou?”

Well, how else can I get you to come to me”, the man on the other end jeered.

“I swear, if you touch... Bomb shell, I will kill you!” Miyavi half shouted on the phone as he realized he made a wrong turn, “Who the fuck are you?! What do you want? Do you want money?! Is that what you want?! I’ll give you all the fucking money you need-”

Relax, I don’t need your money, Ore-sama” he said with a small chuckled, “I have quite enough of that myself

Miyavi’s blood boiled, “Then what do you want from me?!”



“Running away?” Tetsu shook his head and smiled a little bit, “Running away?”

“I know you feel betrayed and I know you never want to talk to him again” Gackt said, finally twisting his head to look at Tetsu, “But believe me when I say that nothing happened between me and him, during our stay in Taiwan”

“I honestly don’t care what nature of relationship you have” the brunette said truthfully, he picked up his phone and looked at the time, “I don’t think you have too much time, Camui-san”

“He still loves you”

“Why should I believe you?” the brunette returned his gaze on the mirror’s Gackt.

“Even now, you’re trying to derail the topic” Gackt said, not moving his eyes away from Tetsu’s face. He figured it out now, how come the brunette doesn’t seem to falter, “You’re scared of him aren’t you?”

Tetsu carefully trained his gaze on the mirror, not moving his sight anywhere. He wanted to say something but Gackt basically hit it right there and he found that his head was thrown was back to point zero.

“You’re really running away”

Tetsu turned his head from the blonde’s stare and looked at the wall beside them. His defence mechanism didn’t function in high gear and it was still reeling from what Gackt just said. He bit his lower lip and tried to calm down; the sudden pressure of being found out was working up its way to his chest.

Slowly, mercury rising up to his chest and into his head; his heart did that thing again, that beating way too much thing. And he swears one more time, he is back below the waters.

“You’re still a kid; you wouldn’t know how it feels”

Yes, he’s been denying it for such a long time. He knew this was going to come out, pent up frustration never really did stay too long inside a person. But he didn’t expect it to be this soon, the small swirls of irritation was spinning again and that little voice that told that something was wrong. That little voice that only worked when he knows Hyde was in some sort of situation.

“He still loves you.. And you know that”

“He’s nothing to me now. Absolutely nothing”

“Really?” Gackt said in a somewhat challenging voice, “If it’s not too much to ask, Ogawa-san, why don’t you be a man. Look at me straight in eyes and tell me that yourself”

The voices in his head were wailing, and they were in tune with Gackt’s voice. He put his hands over his ears and he tried his best to block out every little sound that was starting to come to life.

“He’s a bad person! No!” Tetsu said in loud voice, as he fully turned away from Gackt, “I don’t want to be with him anymore...! He... He scares me; you don’t know... what... what he did to me...”

“I do” Gackt sighed, knowing full well what the somewhat taller man wanted to tell him. If he was in Tetsu’s position, he wouldn’t want to talk to Hyde himself anymore. But he can’t let that happen, not right now when he knows Hyde might be doing something that might put Miyavi’s life on the line.

They both know what kind of person Hyde truly is and what he’s capable of. And if he doesn’t do anything now, he will regret it for the rest of his life.

Tetsu shook his head, trying to keep himself from remembering what happened, “You don’t... he’s bad... Camui... Hyde is... I can’t go see him. My mom was right... I should’ve run when I had the chance. I wasn’t... and he...”

“I don’t know how to tell you this” Gackt said putting a hand over Tetsu’s shoulder, “But please... Hyde, he still needs you. Even though... you think he doesn’t. I know this much, Ogawa-san”

“I don’t want to go back to him!” Tetsu turned and looked at Gackt, his smiling face all splintered and cracked. There were tears falling from his eyes, “Why should I? So I can let him use me? Is that it? I’m going to New York, Camui and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from riding that airplane”

Tetsu wanted to push Gackt away, but the other man was trying his best to keep him from going anywhere. He blocked tetsu’s way; he grabbed tetsu’s shoulders and forced Tetsu to look at him “He doesn’t listen to reason anymore”

“When has he ever?” the man laughed, he was between crying and beyond mad “And that is news to me why?”

“Look, Hyde is near losing it. It’s not only me he’s not listening to, he’s obsessed trying to ruin my friend’s life all because he believes that Miyavi is the real reason why you left him”

“What...” Tetsu’s brows furrowed and he tried to hold back his tears as he heard what Gackt just told him. “Miyavi? That... that boy from Holy Garden? What... do you mean? I don’t... I don’t get it-”

“He wants to kill Miyavi”



There was absolutely nothing about that friend of Bou, not even the simple information of who he is. It was almost as if he does not exist at all. School records or even just the simple “where do you” live information, there was nothing at all about him.

And that’s when Yoshiki got a little suspicious.

How could this be possible? There was no trace about this Doi Hachirou. Not even in the underground world, and usually the most it takes Yoshiki is just a day- he’d have everything. The blond leaned on his chair and looked up at the ceiling, begging whatever deity up there to help him. This wasn’t right. This was not right at all.

Yoshiki felt suspicious, he didn’t really notice at first.

How come Doiha doesn’t seem to exist at all?

“Doiha. Doi Hachirou” he mumbled silently closing his eyes, while trying his best to think. The image of Gackt’s face came into his head, and he remembered Gackt’s words, Reverse. For a while, he stayed in that silent world of his. His brain kicking up an engine that won’t turn on even if he kicks the metal and tried to turn in the key, “Do... I... ha...”

One more time, he scanned for his name; he got his informants to tell him what they know. He almost gave up when he did the one thing that he has not bothered trying. He decided to check Doiha’s school records at Holy Garden, even if it was just a small detail and it might not even help at all...

He stared at the screen of his laptop.

There is no student registered under that name.

And that’s when it really hit him.

“Do-i-ha” he repeated, his eyes snapping wide open, reverse. Interchanging various things from its previous order, backward to forward. Why didn’t he think of it earlier? His eyes went wide, when he finally figured everything out.

“It’s not even a name...!” he shouted when he realized the mistake he’s been following. He stood up and walked briskly to the door, one of his many informants were standing and waiting for him patiently. Without even knowing it, he grabbed the other’s front and then started demanding furiously, “Tell me all I need to know about the Takarai family. Fucking now”


“Sugizo!” Yoshiki screamed on his phone as he started walking briskly to his car, he was thankful that his idiot of a friend finally picked up, “I... I finally figured it out! Reverse! It was just staring at us the whole fucking time! Why didn’t we pick up?! What the fuck is wrong with us?!”

Huh?” Sugizo asked on the other line, hearing the urgency of his friend’s voice dropped everything he was doing and concentrated on his friend, “What? What did you figure out?

“Gackt told you Reverse right?” the blond made a turn, trying to think of places where the ore-sama could be at that exact moment, “Oh god... why didn’t we figure this out earlier? Fucking Gackt...!”

What?” Sugizo’s brows furrowed but he stood up from where he was sitting and left the martini on his table. He didn’t know what he was about to do, but gut feeling told him they’ll be doing some running around.

“Doi Hachirou! It’s not even a name! It’s not!” Yoshiki laid out for his friend, the three second silence that met him irked him even more and before he knew it, he started to rant on the phone, “It’s archaic term, it’s supposed to mean the eight child. We were staring at the fucking perpetrator all this time! What the fuck were we thinking...! Why didn’t we think of it earlier?! ”

“What?!” Sugizo repeated as he stopped in his tracks still in the middle of processing the information, so far nothing was coming to him. He couldn’t find anything as his friend ranted incessantly “I can’t... Slow down, Yoshi, I don’t understand a word you’re saying!”

“This may be a wild card but... remember that trip of Gackt to Taiwan?”

“Taiwan? I think... like a couple of years back-”

“He was with someone. They only called him the eight child. The eight head of the Takarai family”

The red head stopped in his tracks, “Takarai family?”

“Look let me do it this way: Reverse. Do-i-ha, if you switch the sounds in his name... You get Ha-I-Do. Haido. Hyde. Hideto Takarai” Yoshiki explained on the phone while he drove around, his nerves calming a bit but his mind working its way through what he had just found out, “I wouldn’t have known anything about him until I finally fucking remembered Gackt, god... Gackt knew all along! Gackt... that bastard! From the start, Sugizo, he knew! And all he did was made our fucking heads spin!”

“What’s the game plan?”

Yoshiki breathed as he stopped impatiently in front of a red light. The blinking on top really getting on his nerves, he was half tempted to run over the pedestrians in front of him but decided to content himself with the thought that if he gets to see Gackt again, he would make sure to pummel that boy until that fucking pretty face of his is reduced to bits of blood and gore.

“Miyavi. The phone call. Earlier today” The blond said, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, he was starting to slow down and his sentence became choppy, “I think... it wasn’t just any ordinary phone call”

Sugizo bit his lip, and got in his car, trying to think of how to get himself to kick start on the situation “I’ll take the east part of the city. I’m calling in people, Takarai, huh? Now that I think about it... Gackt was supposed to meet a head... He just wouldn’t tell us who it was-”

“And now we know, so we better hurry... I don’t think this Hideto Takarai is a very nice person”


What woke Bou up was the sound of a chattering voice.

It was all vague, his vision was hazy and he couldn’t think of what to do. The blond groaned a bit and tried to move, only ending up in squirming against bounds. His brain didn’t function properly as he pulled at his arms again. His head was spinning so badly, he didn’t know what was going on. For a moment, he stayed like that, lost in between darkness and the light. Attempting to understand what was going on, and why his body was being restricted.

“You’re awake”

A familiar voice, a rather familiar voice; Bou shook his head and managed to push at least a good chunk of dizziness away, he then said in a weak voice “Doi-Doiha?”

And before he knew it, the other’s palm met Bou’s cheek in a hard and cold ringing slap. The blond yelped from the pain, his brain finally signalling his body that it was time to wake up.

“Doiha!” he shouted, albeit in a voice that was trying to but can’t. The surprise of that slap and the pain it left on him was still fresh and he didn’t know what was going on, he opened his eyes and looked at his friend. Without the glasses and out of his Holy Garden uniform but into some sort of formal attire, “What’s... what’s going on...? Why... why did you... what did you?”

“I swear to god, you little cretin” Doiha leaned down so he can face Bou, his hands planted on the sides of Bou’s chair, “If you dare call me Doiha again, I will tear out your head now. You have no right to address me so casually”

“What?” Bou was taken aback, he didn’t know what to say, he glared at the other student and pulled at his restraints even though previous attempts already told him that they were holding him tight “But... but you... what’s going on?! What do you mean by that? Why am I like this?! Answer me!”

“Don’t worry” Doiha smiled at the blond, “You’ll find out in a few minutes”

“Doiha, what on earth-”

“Didn’t I tell you already?!” the raven haired boy hit Bou once more, making the blond yelp and then pulled his head back by gripping his blond yellow hair, “You have no right to address me like that. Only one person is allowed to call me by that name and you’re not him. You better learn to show me some respect, you little piece of shit”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Have you gone mad?!” Bou screamed.

The raven haired boy sneered and let of go of Bou’s blond strands, “Me? Mad? Maybe... just a little bit. You know Bou-chan, you were very useful to me and maybe I should be a bit nice to you, seeing all the help you’re giving me-”

“Help?! Help you?! In what?!”

“My little vendetta against Miyavi of course” Doiha smiled, “Bou-chan, let me break your heart a little bit. There was never... a Doi Hachirou and if you could’ve been just a little bit smarter, you would’ve known it’s not even a name but a title. An old term to call the eight child in a family”

Bou didn’t know what to say, not everything was processing right but all he knows is... He could feel nothing but seething hate for Doiha just about now. He looked at him angrily, to which Doiha returned with a small laugh.

“I’m the eight head to my clan” Doiha said, while doing a small Bou as if to inject some form of formality in the event “My name is Hideto Takarai. But you kind of are my friend... you can call me, Hyde”

A/N: Hey guys. Did you know? This fanfic is two years old, but July it would be three! ^^ Thanks for all the support! I promise! I will update much faster. I’ve been so hung up about recent events. Right now I’m trying to deny something, but in the end it only got my heart a bit tangled up in a worse knot<-- why does this sound so gay? xD So now, I’m trying to focus all energy on this fanfic and other things because at least I’ll be a bit happy.

AND ONE MORE THING. How come most of you didn’t suspect Doiha? No really, I understand the Laruku fans because there were two figured it out early on... well except for one! XD YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! I was surprised when until the last two chapters, nobody thought of Doiha as the real culprit!

Am I that good of an author for concealing him so well? 8D You wish Earnest!

Current Music: LM.C- Haunted House Makes A Secret
fine wine connoisseur.: Bou; Looking Glasskitkii on June 1st, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC)

D: Wow hyde, why so evil ._.

im still loving this! sorry i disappeared for a while there x.x~!

Poor Bou...
Karyta: miyavi closekyoselflove on June 2nd, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
i know this is an old fic but iam glad you didnt abandon it! its so damn good!!!
earnestinberlin: Haitsu- Fuck the height ruleearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:12 pm (UTC)

^^ I'm happy, there's the next chapter. Go go go~<3
earnestinberlin: Bou- All the girlies say~♥earnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)

Haha, don't worry. I still love you bb. Even if you're here or not ^^
Khee_glance on June 1st, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
o.O Hyde is scaring me.
*laugh* About halfway thriough the chapter, I finally figured out the reverse thing, so I ended up in front of my computer saying,
"Do-i-ha....Ha-i-do...." Over and over again until they figured it out. ^^ It's so cool, though...it took me forever to guess. XD

*yay* You were SOO good at concealing it....^______^ And super awesome for quick updates, I keep squealing every time I check my email and you have replied. ^^
earnestinberlin: Haitsu- NOMNOMNOMNOMearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC)

Sorry Sorry I took my time again! I actually had all the scenes in my head, but something really held me back so... But as long as I updated! ^^ I hope you like! ; D
Ellison Greynikuru on June 1st, 2009 08:40 pm (UTC)
I must say I am entertained.
And in love with this~!
earnestinberlin: Mana- secretearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC)

There you go! ^^ The link to the next chapter. ^^
eilonwe2eilonwe2 on June 1st, 2009 08:49 pm (UTC)
OMG! HYDE!! *tackles Hyde, drags him into my closet!!!*

NO really, um *kicks Hyde* you evil bastard! WTF! Bou was your friend, you just played her like a violin... and that was wrong, 'cause she defended you!

I love this story, I can't wait until Tetsu shows up and KICKS SOME ASS
and really somebody needs to bitchslap gackt (but nobody heard me say that)

thanks for the update *gives you Chambord!!*
earnestinberlin: tetsu- MY FANDOM DOES NOT PHAIL :Dearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)

And there you go~! Run run run!
urusecks: bubblesurusecks on June 2nd, 2009 05:19 am (UTC)
Ahh, this was sooo good~ thanks very much for updating! ♥

I'm getting more and more amazed by this ficcc, it's pretty intricate..

But man, sucks for Bou and Miyavi right now D:
earnestinberlin: ManaxGackt- Convoearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)

Haha, well... i can't say its looking good for them in the next chapter, but don't worry... ^^ In due time In due time!
Cake8cake on June 2nd, 2009 09:11 am (UTC)
Wow, you are totally churning this out now.
No, I never suspected Doiha!
I guess the only really nice character is Miku..... unless he turns out to be evil too!!
Far out, Earnest-chan - three years!! Sugoiiiiii
earnestinberlin: tetsu- Lineearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:19 pm (UTC)

Haha. ^^ THank you! <3
hyprakktivhyprakktiv on June 2nd, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Yay for updates! *gives bubble tea* :3

So much plot development...! *froths at mouth*

I wonder why Tesu suspects Hyde and Gackt of doing naughty things on their trip to Taiwan...? He's got to have some sort of sensible (or not, considering how kooky he was getting in the bathroom) reason, right?

And go Suzgizo-Yoshiki teamwork powers! Everything looks like it's starting to finally unravel, it's all so exciting. :D

I think that people were too caught up in everything else to suspect Doiha, if you want an answer to that, haha! Not to mention that he didn't appear too often to really be part of the story after the beginning half. I don't know, that's the way it looks to me...

...And I srsly want to kick Hyde right now... >> He's bein all stninky and stuff to Bou~~

Okay. Shutting up now. XD
Sorry for the essay! <3
earnestinberlin: tetsu- Poker Face {Fucking yeah :D}earnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC)

Haha! : D Well... you see... hm... *runs away and won't talk about it*
(Deleted comment)
earnestinberlin: tetsu- Um... i don't know how to explainearnestinberlin on June 7th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)

Now that you mentioned that.... I actually feel bad D: I mean... YES It will all be explained in due time!
renai21 on June 22nd, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC)
"Hay guys! how many of you wants to kill Gack?"
Renai,Yoshiki, Sugizo *raises hand*:HERE PLZ!

Really, what an idiot! Grrr

I suppouse I didn't want to think in him 'cause is hot. But really, he is a truly psycho. I hope Bou and Miya are going to be fine -.-